It’s Almost Time Again to Remind Yourself the Pumpkin Spice Latte Sucks

It’s Almost Time Again to Remind Yourself the Pumpkin Spice Latte Sucks

By Chris Crowley

It has returned. Photo: Starbucks

End-of-summer dread has officially set in, and adding insult to injury, Starbucks has blithely decided that it’s time to announce the inevitable return of its Pumpkin Spice Latte. And this time, Starbucks might violate its sacred accord with August: Some believe the drink could return as early as August 28. Do you have no shame?

The PSL is an enshrined part of the calendar for its cult of cinnamon-loving devotees, despite tasting like an equal part mix of sugar and radioactive pumpkin glop. Why has no one been asking if this is proof that the PSL is a mind-control beverage (MCB) designed to enslave Americans by taking advantage of our collective desire to live off nothing but sugar? Is it already too late? Given the boldness of PSLs in August, it seems so. God speed.

Sources

Support Rollie, like you viewers keep PBS alive PayPal.me/RollieQuaidcom Bitcoin: qrk7qz2h3nr3kax22cxh7m8qsyy9demt2ynt5ql75y https://discord.gg/R9CfwGD Every great magic trick consists of three parts or acts. The first part is called "The Pledge". The magician shows you something ordinary: a deck of cards, a bird or a man. He shows you this object. Perhaps he asks you to inspect it to see if it is indeed real, unaltered, normal. But of course... it probably isn't. The second act is called "The Turn". The magician takes the ordinary something and makes it do something extraordinary. Now you're looking for the secret... but you won't find it, because of course you're not really looking. You don't really want to know. You want to be fooled. But you wouldn't clap yet. Because making something disappear isn't enough; you have to bring it back. That's why every magic trick has a third act, the hardest part, the part we call "The Prestige"." patreon.com/Rollie_Quaid https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCB-BQKpAVgKeNmBVgaDvehQ/videos?view_as=subscriber Explore the Mind’s 🧠 👁 Eye

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